ConservativeINC

First, full disclosure: I have advocated America’s annexation of Mexico within these virtual pages. The way I figure it is that if some (is it really just some, how many Mexicans do you think want to take California back? I think many.) Mexican groups like la Raza (I think it means “the race,” I only took three years of public school Spanish, so I don’t really know) want a “reconquista.” Now, I know what that means, they want my land!

Anyways, if billboards are any barometer of truth (and I think they are as good as any “academic study” because a lot of money is gambled on a marketing campaign’s success) then we can safely assume that many Mexicans still feel shafted from the Mexican-American War. Just take a look at this billboard from Absolut Vodka:

And this was from a story in the LA Times - a far left daily that is sinking faster than Zimbabwe’s economy. The story asks the question of whether this type of ad campaign will, um, anger Americans.

The answer, of course, is no. Some cities in America’s Southwest are already being handed over to the Latin provisional authority - the gangs. What, too harsh? Ask the blacks who use to live in some of these cities in Southern California what is going on. Just take a drive in these ciudades and you can see something that you won’t see in the picture of Absolut’s billboard above - everything is in Spanish.

Many cities in America’s Southwest are de facto ciudades and, quite frankly, I’m not going to shed any tears over it. If a culture isn’t strong enough to withstand the culture of some migrant workers and disaffected youths with poor marksmanship than maybe it doesn’t deserve to survive. But, unfortunately for the Reconquista crowd, in the end it will be their culture that withers away.

Mexico, despite its abundance of natural resources and close proximity to the world’s largest economy, can’t find a way to bring anyone riches except for a fat man named “Slim” and the politicians who made “Slim’s” financial abundance possible. Mexico, along with many other Latin countries, are the anemic posterity of a failed economic system - communism/socialism/statism. This culture that is winning out in many American cities (sorry, ciudades) is doomed for failure. And yet more billboards like Absolut’s pop up all over the place in my backyard.

Going full circle with this piece I think it is wise to revisit the idea of annexing Mexico. It is a country that is largely out of control - heck, one city can’t even hire a police chief because the previous eight or nine have been assassinated. Mexico is also a city that has a ton of potential. It’s natural resources (yes, oil, it’s always oil with conservatives, haven’t you heard?) are extensive. And they are just to our South making occupation a lot easier considering the fact that a full fifty percent of our occupational force could be comprised of alcoholic spring breakers.

And here is the completion of the circle - Absolut could be the sponsor of America’s counter-conquista. Those drunken coeds will be lured to occupy Mexico because there will be a lot of cheap vodka (by the way, why vodka in a Latin country? Shouldn’t it be, oh I don’t know, tequila?!).

This is why I’m not up in arms over Absolut’s marketing ploy because, in the end, we are going to take over all of Mexico with spring breakers fueled by Absolut. Or America will just continue on in cultural ambivalence trading luxury and ease for encroaching ciudades. One or the other, it’s really a toss up in my mind. BigT

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About three weeks ago I wrote a post titled, Sterilization: Their Last Hope, which talked about a woman who had herself sterilized to save the environment. The way she, and, evidently, others, see it is that every new kid is going to produce a bunch of carbon dioxide throughout their lives so it is better to not have any new kids. According to these eco-crusaders their sterilization is “all for the environment.” But I smelled a rat.

Interestingly, this woman, who has devoted her life to “saving” the planet, goes on a yearly trip with her husband. This year she went to South Africa. But, like any good hypocritical watermelon (environmentalist, if you will), she was able to rationalize this seeming contradiction by claiming that by her not having any children she was still being better then others who decided to be selfish and have children.

Unfortunately for her and her sisters in the watermelon/environmentalist/communist movement, many people are able to look at those women’s decision to sterilize themselves and realize that they are doing what they are doing to maintain a lifestyle that is fun for them. But maybe they still have time to make up for their mistakes; it’s never too late after all.

If it is bad for the world to bring a new child into the world just think about how damaging it is for the world to have all those globe-trotting adults jetting around to exotic locations. If the watermelons really want to save the world there is only one thing they can do: abort themselves.

If you are a true environmentalist you know that you are the reason why the world is in peril. Mankind is destroying the planet and the only thing that can be done to save the planet is for mankind to die. Seriously, if you are an environmentalist you know that mankind will never change. There will always be a large group of people that will live outside of their means and drive big cars and live in big houses. Even if we do eventually find an energy that doesn’t pollute it would be too late to save the planet because the tipping point towards ecological destruction draws close.

Environmentalists everywhere need to unite around the idea of after-term abortions; abortions that happen after birth. It doesn’t even have to be slightly after birth like one bioethicist advocates (what, don’t believe me? Click here.). If you come around to the environmentalist faith, um, movement, when you are in your late teens you can abort yourself then!

Think about it. When environmentalists protest now it is usually a bunch of naked, white people in some lush greenery. It’s not exactly the best press for their movement because, well, I would have to imagine that most watermelons spend their weekends naked in some lush greenery anyways. But if you had 150 watermelons abort themselves on a melting ice cap, well, then you would have a call to action.

It might even start a wave of after-term abortions throughout the world. Watermelons could abort themselves on the bare mountains in Colorado. Or, they could abort themselves around a tree that is going to be cut down in Berkeley. Maybe they could even abort themselves outside of the PM’s residence in Australia as a protest against his government’s backtracking over climate change.

But the real reason why after-term abortions should be allowed is because it would take away at least one Western polluter at a time. Doesn’t sound like a big deal? Well think of it this way: one Westerner has to produce something like 100 times more then the average person in the world. Heck, if you do an after-term abortion on yourself in America it would be like taking 1,000 average polluters off the planet! If enough watermelons had after-term abortions the world just might be saved.

We are running out of time to save the world. Al Gore says we’re about eight years away from reaching the point of no return. In order to save the planet as many of you watermelons as possible need to abort yourselves because you know I’m not going to be changing any time soon. BigT

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I thought there were no icebergs left? How could they have hit… ice? This is insane.

Obviously the Bush Administration worked overtime on “Thanks”giving Day (more like a day of mourning for me) to combine all the ice in the West Wing to create this iceberg. What, you don’t believe me?

Every Thanksgiving the president does something big like going to Iraq to lift the spirits of the soldiers fighting an ILLEGAL war against peaceful people. Since those clandestine visits to the scene of the crime don’t correspond enough with a bump in his approval ratings he decided to do something different this Thanksgiving. He and the rest of his staff (not Cheney, the DEVIL would melt the ice) got buckets and buckets of ice and put them together in ten big dump trucks.

Then they took the dump trucks down to Annapolis and filled up the CIA’s Top Secret Ice Machine 100, a nuclear sub retrofitted to haul ice to the Arctic and Antarctica. This sub made record time down to Antarctica’s waters and got into position to sink this ship.

When the ship got in range, in almost perfectly clear waters as you can see by the picture above, it opened up its backside and let the large iceberg go. It was shot right at the boat like a dart and poked a hole in the cruiseliner.

There it is, you heard it here first. The CIA, with some help from our Commander Liar in Chief, obviously sunk this boat. Do you need any more proof?

Fine, here’s the last bit of proof you need. It is a Canadian owned boat flying the Liberian flag. This racist regime that has hijacked the White House can’t stand it that the Canadians would allow some dark-skinned people from Africa fly their flag over what “should” be a white man’s boat. Bush and his cronies need to be impeached IMMEDIATELY!

They obviously did this little stunt to show the world that global warming climate change is a “myth.” I don’t look at the neocon blogs but I’m sure they’re abuzz right now saying that this is a sign sent from “God” himself that “global warming” isn’t happening. The little neocon rats, still groggy from yesterday’s rape of the animal world in celebration of their racist raping of the Native Americans, are furiously typing with their chubby fingers telling their mind numbed morons that “global warming” isn’t a threat.

But you know the truth. Bush and his neo-SS deliberately sunk this boat with an “iceberg” to “prove” to the mindless masses that there is nothing to fear from climate change. Their message is to go on and shop like there is no tomorrow, belch millions of tons of CO2 into the atmosphere to go to your materialistic malls, and cut another 1,000 years off the world’s life. They make me SICK!

Now you know the truth, go out and spread it.

This bit of satire brought to you by a still-groggy “neocon” with his chubby fingers. BigT

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