ConservativeINC

I was one of those people who just didn’t understand how Hillary Clinton could be so mean and vicious to everyone that didn’t bow down to her every whim. Maybe, I thought, it is because her husband sleeps around. But that couldn’t be why because she had to know about this decades ago. Maybe, I thought further, is has to do with the fact that she isn’t the one in power when she deserves it the most. Still short because, let’s face it, she had loads of power as First Lady and has a ton of power in the Senate. And then last Sunday I twisted my ankle and realized what makes her so G-darned grumpy.

When I twisted my ankle I was hurt a little bit but I joked with the two guys from the other team that helped me off the field. When I got into the dugout (this was at a baseball game) I joked with some old friends about whether or not I was going to get voted in as an All Star after playing for only two pitches. I stayed for the whole game keeping score in the scorebook and had a good time considering the circumstances. After the game I hobbled to my car and came home and then things started to change.

I took my shoes off and it revealed what a family member referred to as a “chubby” ankle. At first it didn’t bother me because, well, it was “chubby.” I would have preferred swollen since my ankles are normally well sculptured pieces of art but it didn’t bother me. And then the next day she called the swollen ankle “chubby” again. This time I tried to correct her but then others joined in. Everyday since then I have had this “chubby” ankle that has gone from being light purple to what looks like purple-black. The pain is still there but that isn’t what is bothering me anymore. What is really pissing me off the most is that my family says I have a “chubby” ankle.

Already reaching the end of my fuse, which is admittedly short, they decided to unleash their coup de gras. It is now a cankle. Now I have started yelling at everyone and verbally assaulting anyone who even comes close to belittling me. My fuse is gone and everyone has been a victim of my wordy wrath. I’ve made fun of other’s foot irregularities and am generally more curt with all my answers to everyone. Then I realized that this is what Hillary has to deal with everyday of her life.

Just imagine it. You are this disgusting freak show of a woman who walks around with these grotesque stubs adorned by little phalanges. Everyday you toddle along in your plain pant suits hoping no one sees your dark secret. Everyday you live with the fear of being put down for something that is so ridiculously unimportant, something that could dash away all your hopes and dreams. Because you know, deep down inside, that cankles kill all credibility you would otherwise have.

Living with this disfiguration must have pushed this what had to have been normal girl off the deep end and into the hydra that she has become. Every inch of ground that she advances needs to be defended like it is life and death. Always on guard for another joke about her hapless cankles it is no wonder why she is the way she is.

If my ankle were to forever be a cankle I’m sure my demeanor would morph into something similar to Hillary’s. I’m just thankful that my SWOLLEN ankle is already deflating and the cankle is wilting away. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for Hillary Clinton. She’s going to have to live with her curse for the rest of her life. Before you put her down next time think about it this way, if you’re ankles looked like this

wouldn’t you be irritable all the time too? BigT

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