ConservativeINC

In what has been called the “tip of the iceberg” by a lay group that monitors sex abuse in the Roman Catholic Church a nun has been brought up on criminal charges for allegedly sexually assaulting two boys multiple times during the 70s. This is hardly an isolated incident within the Catholic Church, religion, or society in general. Teachers seem to be getting caught daily with their hands in the middle school cookie jar. Still, that doesn’t quite encompass everything that is going on in the wild world of sexual escapades.

For example, STDs are mounting a surge of their own. Over a million cases of chlamydia were reported in the United States last year alone! And since more common STDs aren’t required to be reported on nationally (like genital herpes and papillomavirus) the total number of people affected with STDs every year is probably somewhere around ten million (my guess).

And then there’s this story about how breasts help prevent food allergies. At first I thought that this information made the previous stories about nuns with boys and millions of Americans with rashes make sense. Maybe, I thought, the boys just wanted to make sure they weren’t going to get allergic to peanut butter so they went in for some after class vaccinations. And maybe all those people with bumps and sores were just trying to prevent an allergic reaction to shell fish. But, sadly, this is not the case.

Unfortunately breasts only help prevent food allergies if they are being used to dispense milk into young children. Supposedly mother’s milk helps boost the kid’s defenses against food allergies. I don’t think I can believe this study however. Mother’s milk has been said to give all types of benefits to their children but I haven’t anecdotally been able to prove this. Most people who were breast fed seem to end up running a liberal blog that rants against the criminality of the Bush Administration.

The next (and last) story should be seen as the clarion call that it is. For years now gay rights activists have railed against the slippery slope argument shooting them down as “ridiculous” arguments from the traditionalists. To me it makes total sense that if we allow gay marriage there is really no line left whatsoever that can withstand the mudslide of “progress.” Next we’ll have to let Muslims have multiple wives and then we’ll have liberals wanting to have a really mixed family unit (maybe two moms and three dads). Cousins will marry each other and then people will start marrying animals.

I have to admit that I was wrong because instead of following the logical progression from gay marriage to polygamy to other stuff it has turned matrimonial evolution on its head. In India a man has just married a dog. Fine, it was supposedly done because some people in India are extremely superstitious and this was just a stunt to rid the man of paralysis but I still remain steadfast on my prediction: if gay marriage happens then people will start marrying their dogs in America. BigT

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